Why Christian Girls Don't Date Christian Guys

Might I just start this off by saying I DO date christian guys. In fact, I prefer to date christian guys. So don't get your facts wrong.

The title of this post might automatically raise some eyebrows, or even offend a few people. They might scoff, look around to see who is seeing this, and then scroll on. Honestly, if it were me reading instead of writing, I would be intrigued. Finally, someone has an answer, I might think. Because I was one of those girls growing up who was raised to think that good christian girls could only date good christian boys. And, yes, ten or twenty years ago, that would be the case. Oh, here we go, you're thinking. She's just one of those teenage girls who's going to say 'it's not that way anymore' or 'times have changed'. I'm not saying that the standards should be any different. I think it's better if young girls date a guy who has the same standards and will uphold the same boundaries and morals as she.

MY PROBLEM (yes, those are shouty capitals that are indicative of a rant) is that CHRISTIAN BOYS THESE DAYS are so IMMATURE and CAN'T GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER that the good christian GIRLS get IMPATIENT waiting for them to REALIZE that COOTIES DON'T EXIST that they move on to a guy that, yeah, he might not be a christian, but he doesn't worship the devil, and he isn't going to pressure her to have sex every time their alone. Honestly. Christian guys these days are so immature in all the wrong ways. They're going to be 40 by the time they realize that yeah, they might want to get married and move out of their parent's basement some day.

Meanwhile, the other guys (if you can find the one in twenty guys that doesn't smoke pot) actually has a career! He has plans to buy a house, and find a girl to settle down with. He actually has the nerve to give you his phone number, and ask you out on a date. Parents these days wonder why their daughter can't date that nice christian guy that serves at church and it has nothing to do with her! She talks to him and flirts and does everything she can to show him she's interested in him, and meanwhile he just wants to hang out with the guys, and thinks that girls are of the devil.

Responsibility! you shout. Uh, yeah, okay. There's responsibility, and then there's 'Don't look her in the eyes! That will ruin your reputation!'

I'm so fed up. They think that just because their under the age of 25 means that they can't be caught dead hanging out with a girl, or, heaven forbid, talking to her outside of church. Honestly. You're approaching 20. My CHRISTIAN father was married before he was 21.

Yeah, I'm gonna get some flak for this, but it needs to be said. We're getting tired of it. 

Home Sweet Home

Well, it's official. I live in Florida. We bought a house in North Port.

Yep.

I am by no means calling myself a Floridian. I will forever be "from North Carolina." When I visit NC and people ask me, "oh, where are you from?" I'll say, "here. I'm from North Carolina. I just happen to stay in Florida." Or, "my parents live in Florida, and I'm staying with them." But I am not a Floridian.

I've accepted the fact that God asked me to move to Florida. I'm even okay with it. I'm not bitter. I'm not angry. I'm just not a Floridian.

My mother is all happy to be here. She likes the sweltering heat and the bipolar weather. She likes having sand in your teeth when you get back from the beach. She likes dry skin and gritty clothes. Personally, I prefer rolling hills and corn fields. That just me, though.

I've never been like my mother. That's why I get angry when people say I look just like her, or even when she calls me "mini-me". Because I am not like her. She likes the beach. I like the pond. She likes sand. I like snow. She likes riding bi-cycles, I like riding horses. She likes heat, I like cold. The list goes on and on. We clash like a ginger in a maroon shirt. So, yeah. I get a little peeved when people say I'm just like her.

Anyway, that's not what this post is about.

Our new church is awesome. It's small... very small. But it's a lot like C3 and that makes things easier. The people are so nice. I'm really excited about spending our time there. I don't want to be like I was at C3. I don't want to be stagnant, or lukewarm. I want to save Venice. Heck, I want to save Florida. Again, I'm excited.

Bi-polar Tendencies

Okay. So apparently, I scared some people with that last post.

I'm not depressed. Or suicidal.

I just have mood swings from time to time. I think it has something to do with growing up. Like, just today, I was sitting on the couch, and had a wave of almost like grief come over me. I felt like I'd lost someone or something dear to me.

Anyway, that's for another day.

I'm here to talk about moving. My family (that is to say, my brother and my parents) have decided that they want to move to Florida. At first, I was all, "you can't make me," and "I'm staying here," but then God kind of threw some stuff at me and finally I was just like, "Okay. Gosh. Stop. I get it." Which, He didn't appreciate my tone. So he sent me another message through our pastor's wife. I cried. A lot. But, I understand now why God is moving us. I'm not making an impact here. I'm not doing anything with my life.

The title of my post is called "Bi-polar Tendencies" for a reason. Ever since I reached my conclusion, the bratty, middle school girl who always seems to have her hair in pigtails and an angry flush on her face inside me keeps throwing fits and screaming at me with her tiny fits knotted in the hair at her scalp, saying "how could you do this, your whole life is here, don't you even care about (enter the name of the guy I currently am enthralled by here)??" And I answer her in a placating tone, "Yes, of course I know my whole life is here. And yes, I do care about him. I want to stay and get to know him better and see where our budding friendship goes, but the Almighty, the Creator of everything wants me elsewhere, and do you really want to end up like Jonah?!" And then I think about just what I'm leaving behind and tears sting in my eyes and I feel like the girl in my head, and I feel like throwing a fit and crying and flinging my self to the ground, shaking my head and screaming "I'm not leaving! You can't make me!"
What makes it harder is my best friend's reaction when I told her. She was clinging to me and telling me not to go and even seemed like she was starting to cry, herself.

People seem to think I'm crazy for not wanting to leave. Especially on cold, rainy days when most people are daydreaming about Florida beaches and going green with envy that God would call me to a place as "wonderful" as south Florida. But I'm not made for that. I hate sand. I think palm trees are ugly. I don't like the heat. I hate humidity. In fact, the humidity made my eczema flare up the last time I went down there. I broke out big time.

Despite all that, I've still surrended to God. I've waved my white flag. Where He says go, I'll go.

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.

Don't Hurt Yourself

I've been a little bit out-of-sorts lately.

I've been through this before. Feeling like there's nothing that can excite you anymore, or that you're just kind of coasting through life.

My day-to-day goes like this.


I wake up. I get dressed. Sometimes.
I say hi to the dogs. I try to remember if it's a day I work or not. If it is, I wash my uniform. If it's not, I don't.
I usually just sit around for a bit. Maybe a little longer than a bit.

I just can't find something interesting to do! I've finally got the life I wanted. I've got a massive piece of land, I've got three horses, I've got art supplies, but I have no friends.

Now, that's a little rough. I wouldn't say I have no friends, but no one I talk to daily. Heck, the person I text the most is my brother.
Yeah. The self-same brother who I fought with daily when we lived together. But hey, he's homesick, and I'm sick of home.

I feel like I'm sinking into the same depression I was in four years ago right before--and during--the time we moved to Statesville. It's the same kind of "I don't want to do anything but sit around and watch Bones" kind of feeling. The same kind of "If I'm not around my friends I'm totally not okay" feeling.

Maybe I'm a little paranoid, but every time I am around my friends, I feel out-of-place. I feel like I don't fit in.

I like my work friends. I feel like they like me. It's my "church friends" that I feel like don't like me. I feel like I'm forcing myself on them, and that's the person I never wanted to be.

I had a moment of "Maybe if I stop trying, they'll notice and do something."
But I didn't want to be that person either.

Honestly, I was a little afraid I'd do it.... and then I'd never talk to them again.
Maybe they wouldn't do anything.
Maybe they really don't like me.

This is why I've always wanted to be able to read people's minds. Because I feel like people don't like me, and I never want to be the person that everyone talks about behind her back.
That would really break my heart.

I also don't want to keep forcing myself on people. I've been subjected to that from someone I didn't like and it's never fun. And then the people I do it to... they're such fantastic people. I know they wouldn't just say "I really don't like you. Stop trying to talk to me."

No, they would put up with me. They would let me tag along. But they make no effort to talk to me when I'm not around.

I'm the girl that doesn't get invited to the parties.

I'm the girl that no one remembers.

And that breaks my fragile heart.